Everybody has things they love so much or would love, if they could have them, that they think about them distractedly or obsess over them at night before they fall asleep because they just want them so badly. Please tell me I'm not the only person who does that. Not that I'm materialistic or anything, because I'm not really THAT bad, but I do have my fantasies and they are not all about Taye Diggs. Plus all my things I love aren't necessarily things. But this list is mostly things and expensive ones too cuz I already have all the cheap junk I could ever want.
As each holiday and gift giving occasion passes that I pick out and then purchase (or worse, defer the purchase of) a lovely gift for myself...I have an even fuller inbox full of emails that say, "Black Swan thought you would like this item from [insert high end brand here]". Here's a random sample from my long long long a$$ list...
The Cartier Love Bracelet. The day someone locks this on my wrist I will be over the moon. I don't even have to love him back, I just want somebody to buy it for me since I'm unclear on the protocol of purchasing it for oneself even though I'm in a life long relationship with me. Preferably the version with a little bling. I just think it has such caché. Very classy as they would say on the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Almost anything by Chanel. This is a massive void in my life. At the moment not even a Chanel lipstick or nail enamel graces my purse. Much less an actual purse. Anyone buying anything for me ever can just go to that boutique on 57th and Madison and handle business.
A six pack. They are so hot on both men and women. I used to have one I swear. I'm still basically holding it down overall but the level of definition I had what seems like moments ago, no longer comes to me after a day fasting. But no worries, I'm on my way back. My trainer is just sadistic enough to bring it out of me. By Spring Break it's gonna be on like Donkey Kong. Too bad I'm too old for Spring Breaking. Anyway you can gift a six pack, Equinox sells gift certificates.
(Note: This is NOT me)
Red roses. I may be unconventional and non traditional and what not, but I am a sucker for a bouquet of flowers. Preferably delivered to my office so everyone can see. Plus roses are fragrant. Actually they stink once reproduced in perfume and candles and such (like doo doo if Andre 3000 tells it) but in real life they smell spectacular and few scents are more lovely or remind me more that someone cares.
A Mackage coat. I will be scouring Filene's and Loehmann's and bluefly.com and netaporter.com to find one of these super warm super fly joints on sale over the next few weeks. Apparently I'm late to the Mackage party but better late than never. If it persists in being insanely cold (and I am not fooled by this 51 degree BS that we got here today in NYC, the wind was a dead giveaway that winter isn't over) then I need to do a better job of looking pulled together when the hawk is in effect. Plus they're cheaper than fur which will be on a future list. Yes, I am a fur wearing (or wannabe wearing) vegetarian. I just don't like meat but fur is the greatest when it's 11 degrees out.
Expensive perfume. It almost doesn't even have to smell good as long as it cost too much money. No seriously, it has to smell delicious. I hate the set from Macy's or Lord & Taylor's. I want the good custom mixed stuff or barring that, something that's exclusive to like Barney's or Bergdorf's or Neiman's. In my inventory now is a bit of Creed, a bit of Hermès, a bottle of Hanae Mori and some other obscure scent...Etro I think. Even that begs an upgrade, I don't have anything customized just yet, but I'll get there.
Alright fellas you have a list that should get you started. Happy Valentine's Day and do the right thing by your loved ones, lest you find yourself asleep on the couch for a week or so.
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