I figure this is a good time to think about the top ten things I will miss about the Big Apple. Here ya go:
1) Seamless Web. This is just brilliant and if you don't live in Manhattan and understand the necessity and beauty of food and other sundry delivery at 3am, to your door, well, you just haven't lived.
2) Cab Drivers. I fight with cab drivers regularly. This is every New Yorker's right and obligation, and I engage in it with gusto. I will miss this privilege. "NO, don't take PARK! Take LEX! It's much less congested going downtown." OR, "NO, I don't want to go to 26th to go east to 25th, I want to take 24th and walk that little block you fare-hiker-scammer-no-respect-for-women-having-bad-smelling-idiot." Or, "What, you don't want to take me to Brooklyn? I'm calling 311...what's your medallion number? 1X123? Here I go!" etc...
3) Rooftops. Because outdoor space is so rare here, having a roofdeck is amazeballs, and we all agree, across most of the five boroughs. At least in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Perhaps in Queens, the Bronx and Staten Island they agree but I've hardly ever been there. See below, my actual rooftop!
4) Museums and Shows. I have only been to the Museum of Sex but I promise I will use my Met Museum membership at least once before I go. I haven't been to nearly enough shows but I saw "Streetcar Named Desire" last week and a few more are on my list before I leave.
5) Online Dating. Here, this is a totally legit and not-at-all-embarrassing way to meet people. And meet people one does, and they are interesting and most are actually not quite as crazy as you would think.
6) The Hot Stink Of Garbage In The Summertime. There are no alleys in most of Manhattan. The garbage sits on the curb. It's picked up efficiently, but if it gets hot before that happens, you have a constant reminder of what you did last night. What everyone else ate last night. It keeps you humble.
7) Sample Sales. I think this does not require an explanation. And FYI, everything is NOT a size 0/2. The clothes at sample sales come in all sizes, and it's a beautiful thing.
8) MTA. Riding the subway or even better, the bus, is the most magnificent people watching I have ever experienced ever. Sometimes the journey is better than the destination.
9) Cheap Stuff. Although living in Manhattan is ridiculously expensive, just a five minute walk from my house is the most glorious raggedy farmers market in a tent in a parking lot (really, this isn't a joke), where I can get an avocado for $1 and 7 limes for $1. I can get a liter of extra virgin olive oil for $8. A big bag of pasta for $1. Everything is practically a dollar. I don't ask where it came from. You can also get your eyebrows threaded for $8, but not at that particular farmers' market. I actually don't do this. I pay $45 for my brows. But that's a whole 'nother story that is a bit sad... Anyway you can travel anywhere in the five boroughs for $2.50, less if you have an unlimited Metrocard and use it wisely. And Central Park is always free!
10) Arbitrage. If you move somewhere after living in New York, you're all of a sudden rich, beeeyatch!
So. I'm leaving this city (more on how, and why, later) and resuming my life in another. It is bittersweet. My loving cat is on her last leg and she may not make the move, and it's crushingly sad. But I am looking forward to another new beginning. It won't be the first and I hope it won't be the last.
Stay tuned for more updates on The End of THIS Era!
