Monday, September 7, 2009

Ode to Wonder Woman

When I was a little girl I used to love love love love me some Wonder Woman. You can ask anyone who knew me then, especially my mother since this was before VCRs, that missing that show on Friday night was not an option. I could be a bit of a toddler tyrant sometimes. But seriously I think she liked it too so maybe it wasn't that big a deal to make sure I didn't miss it.


Wonder Woman in the Season 2/3 incarnation. Better outfit, better bracelets.

Now this is not problematic for a little girl in general unless she has daddy issues and therefore comes to think men are completely superfluous idiots, or unless she happens to not be thin, blue eyed, long haired, white etc. I used to put a towel on my head - the closest I have come thus far to a hair weave - and spin and spin around until I was dizzy. Funny, I never turned up tall, long haired, big boobied and white at the end. 

Recently I discovered, on DVD, the pilot movie and complete 1st season of Wonder Woman at a Cracker Barrel while on a road trip. I brought it home, popped it in, and immediately became re-obsessed. In a big way. So I googled it and found Seasons 2 and 3 on Amazon.com and ordered those too. As I write this I am on the second side of the 1st disc of Season 3. Episode 4 of 22. And then I'm done and can go watch Captain EO or the Wiz or something.

What I had forgotten, what explains a lot, is how much of a feminist Wonder Woman was! Girl power and sisterhood to the nth degree. And she never wanted to kick those dudes' arses - which mainly amounted to shoving them or picking them up and throwing them into a corner - they always gave her no choice. But she was also fine in the process, like her armpits were shaved and she never sweat a drop. That's how I feel in life too. Like, I don't want to rough beeyatches off but sometimes ya gotta. And always, you must look good doing it.


Wonder Woman Season 1 Outfit. The bracelets DON'T MATCH! Quel horreur.

There are so many charming/quaint things about this series, like seeing the same set with a fresh coat of paint (or not) in the next episode. I would be specific about that but it's a bit too nerdy even for me. Then there are the shots of her jumping over the same thing in episode after episode. And funny how I never noticed when I was five how much shorter and more muscular her stunt double was...although Lynda Carter did that hanging from the helicopter scene herself to get the shot right.


Stunt double Jeannie Epper gives Lynda Carter a lift

The little robot Rover had the same beep-beep sound as Road Runner...they're both Warner Bros produced. Sometimes those fly red suede white trimmed boots switch between flat and heeled in the middle of a chase scene. And then there were guest stars who would come back and play a different role - a Nazi one week, a Hollywood producer the next. Not to mention that cute little Mercedes that got blown up one week but was perfectly intact the following episode. Perhaps my favorite special effect was her Invisible Jet which disappeared along with the captions as the show got more sophisticated in later episodes.


Flying Major Steve Trevor back home after he crash landed on Paradise Island. 
At least you couldn't see the wires.
In later episodes there was a doll flying the jet.

What I didn't appreciate then but do now was her amazing fashion sense in Seasons 2 and 3 (in Season 1 which took place during WWII, she almost always wore a uniform as Diana Prince). She wore these great little wrap dresses in Season 2, very DVF, and more slacks and drapey silk blouses in Season 3. There was also a dramatic costume upgrade from Season 1 to 2 (see above). 


Season 1, as Yeoman Prince

Wonder Woman was created by a psychologist during WWII and was female at the behest of his wife, as legend has it. The DC Comic series adapted to the tv series, jumping ahead 35 years to present day 1977 from WWII (although there were already some present day adventures in the comic series) when the show moved to CBS from ABC in Season 2. The comic book also adopted the famous spin for the changeover from Diana Prince to Wonder Woman. That was suggested by Lynda Carter, who had been a dancer, and the flash of light was added when producers decided the original slow-motion wardrobe change was too expensive for weekly production.


Season 1 after they switched to the flash of light.

So instead of reporting on my lively adventures in this lovely burgh of Manhattan this fair Labor Day weekend, I am paying homage to Wonder Woman because I have had a marathon going all weekend save one or two very short excursions including a 3hr hike in the Palisades in NJ. Note to aspiring NJ Palisades hikers: moderate = hard. I'm just saying. So anyway I have exercised, overeaten, socialized little, partied none, drank zero, and texted excessively this weekend. Maybe Mr. Right was out there waiting for me but I'll have to meet him at a Wonder Woman convention or something. 

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Red Card

Not to be mean or anything, because I'm not really mean, really I Am. Not. Mean. But some things are a red card offense. If you don't know soccer aka football everywhere else because you play with your FEET and not your HANDS...it's when a player gets ejected from a game for being a total d-bag. Here I present a blatant red card offense by a player who frankly had one too many yellow cards (those are like the warning penalties) to begin with - one for dumping Shar Jackson for Britney Spears when she was like 7 months sperminated with their second baby and the other for making a career as a gigolo. And others for that wack rap album effort and for popping bottles in Vegas on his woman's Black Card and driving poor Britney coo coo for Coco Puffs. She still ain't right...in her concert there was definitely a bit of listlessness. But she still gives good face. Anyway back to the topic at hand. See below.

BEFORE
Kevin Federline a couple years ago

AFTER

Kevin Federline right about now

If you're going to be a gigolo, can you at least earn your keep and look like it?


Richard Gere in the movie that made him famous. "American Gigolo"

Boo hiss K Fed. Go to the gym. Step away from the chicken wing.

Partial carcass of an animal that was probably tortured to death then soaked in MSG