March 2, 2009
The Honorable Michael R. Bloomberg
Mayor, New York City
City Hall
New York, NY 10007
I am writing in reference to the poor wind and weather conditions New York has recently experienced. Even though it is March, the caustic cold, wailing winds and persistent precipitation continue. I would like your office to do more to cause this egregious weather pattern to cease and desist its assault on New Yorkers.
For example, this evening I was walking west on 50th street from Broadway towards 8th Avenue. The wind tunnel on this block is unacceptable. The wind behaved very aggressively, cutting my face with its force and bitterness, and causing me to lean forward to defend myself. I was brought to tears by its ferocity. While I did get some relief upon reaching the intersection, I was forced to pick my way through a horrid slushy mess at the curb, challenging even my trusty waterproof Timberland boots.
I slipped and slid the rest of the way home, all the way fearing for my teeth and my tailbone. Why? Because the slush left by this March snowfall mixed with the grime in the street created a vicious hazard placing both my coccyx and the lovely result of much painful and expensive orthodontry in danger. If I were to have fallen, surely I would have landed either on my bottom, cracking said coccyx; or on my face, knocking out my teeth. Both of which would have really sucked.
Until this issue is resolved I am withholding all further contributions to the revenue stream of this city. Please do not deduct any further taxes from my pay until you can assure me and my fellow citizens a reasonable weather pattern. We all expect four seasons, but any longer than three months in any one season (other than summer, of course) is unconscionable. Winter has far overstayed its welcome and I am sure, is contributing to the economic woes of our lovely burgh.
I eagerly await your response, and more importantly, a solution.
Warm regards,
Black Swan
www.ablackswansong.com
Brava!
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